In The Hallway

She was 13 years old, she stood in the hallway with her heart beating in her throat, “ this can’t be IT, no it just can’t be” He was handsome, popular and 4 years her senior.. “ Just relax baby”. She couldn’t relax, she didn’t know what to do and she has never done this before. He took her hair out of her face and all she could think off was what if her mom woke up? What if her sister decided to come look for her ? She would never forgive her…. What if Rene the girl who had a crush on him wanted to go to the bathroom. ?

This is not how it is suppose to feel or is it ? Why now ? She wasn’t ready not yet. He looked at her with his big hazel eyes and leaned in pressing his warm lips against hers; she remained as stiff as a corpse and couldn’t move. He gave a step back. "Don’t worry love; it is easy, just go with it." He leaned in again. This time she tried to relax. She opened op her mouth and tried to follow his lead. “Relax damn it, you have been dreaming about this just relax” His hair smelled like cigarette smoke and his mouth tasted like popcorn, it was movie night after all. She tried to think about something else, she tried to push her heart back down her throat, she tried to hide her teeth and that reminded her of 3 weeks prior to this moment.

She was chatting to her friend Anje, she was the one of the hottest girl in school and knew about everything when it came to boys. The boys also knew she wasn’t shy and that she would quickly “put out” by the drop off, well, pants. She asked her friend about kissing and how to do it. Anje was readily available will all sorts of information and gross details, about too much spit, too much tongue, too much teeth, how you have to tilt your head and how you had to make sure not to bump heads or suffocate each other. Her tips included eating mints prior to the kiss. How could she have known that he would kiss her. Anje also mentioned to make eye contact. She couldn’t open her eyes she was too scared. He will see the fear in her eyes and then he will tell everyone. She wanted her first kiss to be perfect. But she couldn’t breathe, she wanted him to stop, she wanted to breathe. Anje told her to practise on an orange, you had to make a little hole in it and then to kiss the orange as if it was a boy. As she was practising, She thought that no one would ever want too kiss her, she was seen as being weak because she never stood up for herself or spoke or did anything much more than look at people, wide-eyed and timid. She was painfully shy and not pretty or cute, she was awkward. Who would want to kiss her ? Anje forgot to mention that kissing an orange for more than hour will leave your tongue raw and your lips dead.

He pulled away, gave her a peck on her forehead then hugged her tight with his big arms. And then he just smiled at her. She took a deep breath. The kiss felt as if it would never end. They heard a noise and looked down the hallway. It was Rene, her eyes were glassy, and she just stood there. Rene looked at her and gave her the notorious “Who the fuck do you think you are?” look. She looked down, she knew that her sister would found out and that she would be in trouble, she also knew that if Rene wasn’t so close to tears that she would have given her one hell of an earful. Rene finally got the courage and spoke up, her voice trembling as she held back the tears “ James I though you said you were going home?” James let go of her hand and she turned to make her way to her room. “ She only heard James say to Rene that he was about to leave but got distracted”

That was all she was to James, just a little distraction. Fuck you James !

Image: http://www.ninjavspenguin.com/blog/2007/03/02/first-kiss-process-2/