Well my mother does. She phoned me a few minutes ago and after I said hello, her first words were “Are you sick “bekkie” ?” No idea how she knows, I don’t sound THAT sick, but she just knows.
Oh I forgot to mention all the stories I write in the third person is about me, don’t know why I like to write about the past in that manner…..
Now excuse me while I go blow out my brains through my nostrils.
It was
The next time she opened her eyes, her suitcase was still on her lap this time covered in glass, she heard the other children sobbing, when she finally looked up, there was man next to her, a paramedic, he opened the door and helped her out. She climbed out of the backseat of the car, her hands shaking still clenching her brown suitcase. She looked around; there was glass everywhere, pieces of car, a white taxi, ambulances and so much blood. She has never seen so much blood; she just closed her eyes quickly and tried to hold back the tears. The paramedic prompted her to go with him to one of the ambulances. She was scared beyond words and started to run.
She knew they might catch her but she couldn’t be there, she couldn’t face what had just happened, she ran as fast as her little legs could hold her. It was only about 2 blocks away from her house. When she arrived at her house Nelly was there to meet her with open arms. Nelly was like her second mother. She finally broke down in tears when Nelly tried to console her and tried to find out what happened but she couldn’t talk. Everything was just flashing over and over again in her head, all that blood. Nelly helped her to get undressed, removing glass pieces from her hair and her clothes and ran her a hot bath. As she sat next to the bath, Nelly gave her a big glass of sugar water “drink this hunny, it will make you feel all better, your ma is on her way” It did help, it tasted horribly but it did comfort her in a way, after all Nelly did say it would help and she needed something to help her. Her mother came running into the house grabbing her from the bath tub as if she hasn’t seen her for years. She held her close. In between sobs all her mother could get out was “Thank God Thank God”. She had to go to the doctor to make sure she was ok.
She was ok but it never left her mind. She was only 4 years old
Did you just sing the title in your head ? did you ? did you ? Well I woke up this morning in 1994, just kidding imagine time travelling back to bad fashion, tapes and Sega, shit off topic….. I woke up to Ace of base in my head and since then I have been singing it but ONLY in my head. I still don’t see any fucking signs. What a classic *nostalgic moment* although any sign would be good right now, I need a sign so that I can know that all will be ok. Have so much on my mind and I have no idea where to start, so I will leave you with “I saw the sign” and lots of hair spray.
Edit: Did you know "I saw the Sign" was No 1 on the world charts. And did you know Malin "Linn" Berggren was born on Halloween. Oh and the band members are like family and friends.
Edit 2: Oh and I am REALLY not a fan, but fuck it beats ABBA.
“Sooo much pressure mommy sooooo much pressure!!! Grandma wants me to walk before my first birthday…. You want me to have some teeth…. Grandpa can’t wait for me to have my first sugar rush.... Dad is trying his best to teach me to say ONE..... Sooo much pressure mommy “
“I agree baby girl, I think we should postpone your first birthday with a month or two. I am not ready for it either.“
She was 13 years old, she stood in the hallway with her heart beating in her throat, “ this can’t be IT, no it just can’t be” He was handsome, popular and 4 years her senior.. “ Just relax baby”. She couldn’t relax, she didn’t know what to do and she has never done this before. He took her hair out of her face and all she could think off was what if her mom woke up? What if her sister decided to come look for her ? She would never forgive her…. What if Rene the girl who had a crush on him wanted to go to the bathroom. ? This is not how it is suppose to feel or is it ? Why now ? She wasn’t ready not yet. He looked at her with his big hazel eyes and leaned in pressing his warm lips against hers; she remained as stiff as a corpse and couldn’t move. He gave a step back. "Don’t worry love; it is easy, just go with it." He leaned in again. This time she tried to relax. She opened op her mouth and tried to follow his lead. “Relax damn it, you have been dreaming about this just relax” His hair smelled like cigarette smoke and his mouth tasted like popcorn, it was movie night after all. She tried to think about something else, she tried to push her heart back down her throat, she tried to hide her teeth and that reminded her of 3 weeks prior to this moment.
She was chatting to her friend Anje, she was the one of the hottest girl in school and knew about everything when it came to boys. The boys also knew she wasn’t shy and that she would quickly “put out” by the drop off, well, pants. She asked her friend about kissing and how to do it. Anje was readily available will all sorts of information and gross details, about too much spit, too much tongue, too much teeth, how you have to tilt your head and how you had to make sure not to bump heads or suffocate each other. Her tips included eating mints prior to the kiss. How could she have known that he would kiss her. Anje also mentioned to make eye contact. She couldn’t open her eyes she was too scared. He will see the fear in her eyes and then he will tell everyone. She wanted her first kiss to be perfect. But she couldn’t breathe, she wanted him to stop, she wanted to breathe. Anje told her to practise on an orange, you had to make a little hole in it and then to kiss the orange as if it was a boy. As she was practising, She thought that no one would ever want too kiss her, she was seen as being weak because she never stood up for herself or spoke or did anything much more than look at people, wide-eyed and timid. She was painfully shy and not pretty or cute, she was awkward. Who would want to kiss her ? Anje forgot to mention that kissing an orange for more than hour will leave your tongue raw and your lips dead.
He pulled away, gave her a peck on her forehead then hugged her tight with his big arms. And then he just smiled at her. She took a deep breath. The kiss felt as if it would never end. They heard a noise and looked down the hallway. It was Rene, her eyes were glassy, and she just stood there. Rene looked at her and gave her the notorious “Who the fuck do you think you are?” look. She looked down, she knew that her sister would found out and that she would be in trouble, she also knew that if Rene wasn’t so close to tears that she would have given her one hell of an earful. Rene finally got the courage and spoke up, her voice trembling as she held back the tears “ James I though you said you were going home?” James let go of her hand and she turned to make her way to her room. “ She only heard James say to Rene that he was about to leave but got distracted”
That was all she was to James, just a little distraction. Fuck you James !
Oh boy oh boy I am exited !!!!
Shame poor Miss A is so tired, she has been sleeping non stop since the weekend…..was one hectic weekend…….damn I still want to puke just thinking of all that food, I should hav taken pics…..maybe all this sleep is her toofies… I hope it is…thank heavens my sister is a dental technologist maybe I can get some dentures for her for her first birthday party…crap still need to design the invite….( design invite in head ) …Holy mother of.. ….what is that smell, it is NOT me… I think the shower drain in blocked…..need to get to the shops as soon as I feel ok again… what in the world is up with my ear, don’t want to go to the GP, I like my gynaecologist more… I wonder if I can go to the gynaecologist for an ear infection……I feel like some chocolate, no make that hot chocolate with real chocolate num num……..really have to do something about the drain…how can I think about chocolate with this smell……I am faulty ….my one friend likes to say that about herself…I am going to steal that line, hope she doesn’t mind, so fitting….will get drain cleaner and chocolates……..I should have spanked the stripper harder on Saturday night, but I couldn’t feel my fingers….I think the stripper needs to go for some sunbed sessions, nothing sexy about a white ass...If I use some vanish mixed with jik maybe I will get my white T white again, I love that T..... that probably explains my ear infection, daaaammmmmnnnn this weather……I wonder if my bro and his new girlfriend is going to last....I like her, she is pretty……people will start to think that I drug Miss A, why is she sleeping so much, must be my child, I love my sleep….. I need sleep……let me go and design that invite already…….nooo wait let me go blog about my loo thoughts.......
